things to make you chuckle

If laughter is the best medicine,
A smile the first defence;
Come here for your daily dose
And heal at no expense.

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The Onion

Dribbleglass

Humorsearch

Have a chuckle ... not our thoughts, but we wanted to pass them on.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Last night as I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.

It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Keep honking while I reload.

Your child may be an honors student but you're still an idiot.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.

Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run.